Introduction
This essay explores my personal attachment style as determined by a recent quiz, reflecting on its implications within the context of human growth and development. Drawing on the quiz results, which indicate a general secure attachment style, alongside personal experiences and theoretical frameworks such as Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development, I will address the reasons behind my attachment style, its evolution over time, and relationships with significant others. Additionally, I will evaluate whether early developmental challenges, as highlighted by Erikson, persist in my life and consider broader learnings from this module. The purpose is to integrate personal reflection with academic theory to understand how attachment and early experiences shape interpersonal dynamics and personal growth.
Attachment Style and Personal Reflection
According to the quiz results, my general attachment style is secure, with a general anxiety score of 3.00 and an avoidance score of 2.50 on a scale of 1 to 7. Secure attachment, as described by Bowlby and Ainsworth, is associated with enduring, satisfying relationships and emotional resilience (Bowlby, 1982). I believe this result stems from the strong, supportive bond I share with my mother, who primarily raised me after my parents’ divorce when I was six. Her consistent love and care likely fostered a foundational sense of security, enabling me to generally feel comfortable expressing emotions—a hallmark of secure attachment (Cassidy, 1994). However, my father’s distant yet loving presence, alongside past struggles with anxiety and depression, may explain the moderate anxiety and avoidance scores, indicating occasional mistrust or reticence in close relationships.
Reflecting on whether this style has remained consistent since childhood, I suspect it has evolved. As a child, I was extremely shy, potentially leaning towards an anxious or avoidant style due to the emotional upheaval of divorce. Over time, overcoming mental health challenges in recent years and personal growth have arguably nurtured a more secure base, though trust remains somewhat difficult for me.
Relationships and Relational Dynamics
Examining specific relationships, I relate most to my mother, with whom I feel most secure. Her unwavering support provides a safe space, aligning with research suggesting that a primary caregiver’s consistency shapes secure attachment (Ainsworth et al., 1978). Conversely, I relate least to my boyfriend, whose lack of loyalty and respect, compounded by differing religious values, creates tension. I tend to avoid deep emotional reliance on him, reflecting mild dismissive tendencies in this context. Similarly, with my best friend, her occasional judgmental and disrespectful behaviour leads me to withhold personal disclosures, indicating selective avoidance. These dynamics highlight how attachment styles can vary across relationships, influenced by individual interactions (Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991).
Erikson’s Developmental Stages and Personal Experience
Erikson’s theory posits that early infancy experiences, particularly around trust versus mistrust and autonomy versus shame, can have lifelong impacts, creating suspicious or shame-prone adults if unresolved (Erikson, 1963). While I have faced trust challenges, I do not feel permanently stuck in these stages. My mother’s nurturing likely helped me progress past mistrust, fostering a basic sense of safety. Additionally, overcoming shyness and mental health struggles has built a degree of autonomy. However, lingering trust issues, possibly rooted in my father’s emotional distance post-divorce, suggest that early disruptions had some lasting effect. Erikson’s framework thus provides a lens to understand how early relational patterns influence later behaviours, though personal agency and supportive relationships can mitigate negative outcomes.
Broader Learnings from the Module
Engaging with this module has deepened my understanding of how early experiences shape attachment and personality. I have learned that attachment styles are not fixed; they can shift through life experiences and intentional growth. Furthermore, exploring developmental theories like Erikson’s has illuminated the interplay between childhood challenges and adult relational patterns, offering insight into my own journey. This knowledge encourages me to cultivate trust and openness, especially in challenging relationships, as a pathway to reinforcing my secure attachment tendencies.
Conclusion
In conclusion, my secure attachment style, as identified by the quiz, reflects a foundation of maternal support, tempered by moderate anxiety and avoidance linked to past struggles and specific relational dynamics. While I relate most securely to my mother, I exhibit avoidance with my boyfriend and best friend due to interpersonal conflicts. Erikson’s theory highlights the impact of early experiences like divorce on trust, though I have largely progressed beyond these stages through supportive relationships and personal resilience. This module has underscored the fluidity of attachment and the value of understanding developmental influences, offering a framework to navigate and enhance my relational world. These insights not only enrich my academic study of human growth and development but also inform personal strategies for fostering healthier connections.
References
- Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978) Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
- Bartholomew, K., & Horowitz, L. M. (1991) Attachment styles among young adults: A test of a four-category model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 61(2), 226-244.
- Bowlby, J. (1982) Attachment and Loss: Vol. 1. Attachment. 2nd ed. Basic Books.
- Cassidy, J. (1994) Emotion regulation: Influences of attachment relationships. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 59(2-3), 228-249.
- Erikson, E. H. (1963) Childhood and Society. 2nd ed. Norton & Company.
