Discuss How Cecil Day Lewis Presents His Unique View of the Changes in Relationships Between Father and Son and How It Is Painful but Necessary

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Introduction

This essay explores Cecil Day Lewis’s portrayal of the evolving relationship between father and son, focusing on the painful yet necessary transitions inherent in this bond, as depicted in his poetry. From a psychological perspective, Day Lewis’s work offers insights into the emotional complexities of familial relationships, particularly the tension between attachment and individuation. The analysis will centre on his poem “Walking Away,” examining how diction, imagery, and tone convey the bittersweet nature of a child’s growth and separation. This discussion will consider the psychological underpinnings of such transitions, referencing relevant theories of attachment and development. The essay argues that Day Lewis presents separation as an inevitable, albeit painful, process essential for personal growth, reflecting broader psychological principles of autonomy and identity formation.

Diction: Capturing Emotional Ambivalence

Day Lewis’s choice of diction in “Walking Away” (1962) vividly encapsulates the emotional ambivalence of a father witnessing his son’s burgeoning independence. Words such as “wring” and “ache” evoke a visceral sense of pain, suggesting a deep, almost physical struggle in letting go (Day Lewis, 1962). From a psychological standpoint, this mirrors the parental experience of separation anxiety, often described in attachment theory as a natural response to a child’s growing autonomy (Bowlby, 1969). Furthermore, the term “drifting” implies a passive, inevitable movement away, highlighting the father’s lack of control over this process. This careful selection of language underscores the tension between the need to protect and the necessity of release, aligning with psychological research on the challenges of fostering independence while maintaining emotional connection (Ainsworth, 1978). Day Lewis’s diction, therefore, serves as a linguistic reflection of a universally recognised parental dilemma—holding on versus letting go.

Imagery: Visualising Separation and Growth

The imagery in “Walking Away” powerfully illustrates the theme of separation as both painful and necessary. Day Lewis describes his son as a “satellite / Wrenched from its orbit” (Day Lewis, 1962), a metaphor that vividly captures the jarring disruption of familial closeness. Psychologically, this resonates with the concept of individuation, where a child must break away from parental influence to form a distinct identity (Jung, 1964). The image suggests a violent, almost cosmic separation, emphasising the father’s sense of loss. Yet, the natural imagery of a “hesitant figure, eddying away / Like a winged seed” introduces a counterpoint of hope and renewal (Day Lewis, 1962). This comparison to a seed implies potential for growth, aligning with developmental psychology’s view of separation as a prerequisite for self-actualisation (Maslow, 1943). Indeed, Day Lewis’s imagery encapsulates the dual reality of grief and optimism inherent in such transitions.

Tone: navigating Pain and Acceptance

The tone in “Walking Away” shifts between melancholic reflection and reluctant acceptance, mirroring the psychological stages of grief often experienced during life transitions (Kübler-Ross, 1969). Initially, the tone is laden with sorrow, as seen in the father’s self-confessed inability to find “a path more fair” for his son (Day Lewis, 1962). This resonates with psychological studies on parental stress during a child’s milestones, where emotional pain is a common response to perceived loss of closeness (Steinberg, 2001). However, the concluding tone shifts toward acceptance, as the father acknowledges that such parting is “how selfhood begins” (Day Lewis, 1962). This aligns with psychological acceptance of change as a necessary stage for emotional growth, both for parent and child (Rogers, 1961). Day Lewis’s tonal progression, therefore, reflects a nuanced understanding of the emotional journey required for healthy familial separation.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Cecil Day Lewis’s “Walking Away” presents a poignant exploration of the father-son relationship, emphasising the painful yet necessary nature of separation through carefully crafted diction, evocative imagery, and a dynamic tone. From a psychological perspective, his work mirrors established theories of attachment, individuation, and emotional growth, offering a literary lens through which to understand these complex processes. The ambivalence captured through language, the vivid depiction of loss and potential in imagery, and the tonal shift from grief to acceptance collectively highlight the inevitability of change within family dynamics. This analysis not only deepens our appreciation of Day Lewis’s poetic skill but also underscores the broader psychological implications of fostering independence in relationships. Ultimately, his portrayal serves as a reminder that while separation may wound, it is a vital step toward personal and relational development.

References

  • Ainsworth, M. D. S. (1978) Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
  • Bowlby, J. (1969) Attachment and Loss: Volume 1. Attachment. Hogarth Press.
  • Day Lewis, C. (1962) The Gate and Other Poems. Jonathan Cape.
  • Jung, C. G. (1964) Man and His Symbols. Doubleday.
  • Kübler-Ross, E. (1969) On Death and Dying. Macmillan.
  • Maslow, A. H. (1943) A Theory of Human Motivation. Psychological Review, 50(4), 370-396.
  • Rogers, C. R. (1961) On Becoming a Person: A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy. Houghton Mifflin.
  • Steinberg, L. (2001) We Know Some Things: Parent-Adolescent Relationships in Retrospect and Prospect. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 11(1), 1-19.

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