Low self-esteem often manifests in clients as persistent negative self-talk and avoidance of challenges, which can hinder personal growth and daily functioning. This essay explores three key techniques drawn from solution-focused brief therapy (SFBT) and narrative therapy: the miracle question, externalisation of problems, and exception finding. From the perspective of a counselling student, these methods are examined for their application in practice, with specific attention to facilitating dialogue, constructing alternative narratives and highlighting client strengths. The discussion draws on established therapeutic principles to illustrate how these approaches promote client agency and change, while acknowledging their contextual limitations within brief interventions.
Facilitating the Miracle Question with a Client Experiencing Low Self-Esteem
The miracle question, a cornerstone of SFBT, invites clients to envision a future where their problem has miraculously resolved overnight (de Shazer, 1988). This technique shifts focus from deficits to preferred realities, fostering hope and goal identification. When working with clients struggling with low self-esteem, the practitioner must deliver the question slowly and iteratively, allowing space for reflection. A verbatim script might proceed as follows:
Counsellor: Imagine that tonight, while you’re sleeping, a miracle happens, and the problem you’ve been struggling with—your feelings of low self-esteem—is completely resolved. But because you were asleep, you don’t know the miracle has occurred. When you wake up tomorrow, what would be the first small thing that tells you something is different?
Client (hypothetical response): Um, I think I’d look in the mirror and not immediately criticise how I look. Maybe I’d feel a bit more okay about myself and actually smile instead of turning away. And at work, I wouldn’t second-guess every email I send, worrying that people will think I’m incompetent.
Counsellor: That sounds like a meaningful shift. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 means you’re completely stuck in those critical thoughts and 10 means you’re at the point where that miracle has fully happened, where would you say you are right now?
Follow-up scaling questions like this help quantify progress and identify incremental steps, encouraging the client to build on small improvements rather than seeking perfection. In my developing practice, this method has shown potential to empower clients, though its effectiveness depends on the therapeutic alliance and the client’s readiness to engage in future-oriented thinking (O’Connell, 2012).
Externalising the Problem Through Narrative Therapy Techniques
Narrative therapy distinguishes the person from the issue, moving away from identity statements such as “I am anxious” toward viewing the problem as an external entity that influences life (White and Epston, 1990). For a client dealing with procrastination, which often compounds low self-esteem through cycles of avoidance and self-criticism, externalisation can reduce shame and open space for resistance strategies. A short exercise might unfold in a session as follows:
The counsellor begins by inviting the client to name procrastination, perhaps as “The Delay Monster,” and then explores its persona. Questions such as “When does The Delay Monster tend to show up most strongly in your day, and what tricks does it use to keep you stuck?” help map its influence. The client might describe The Delay Monster as a shadowy figure that whispers doubts and lures them toward distractions like endless scrolling. In response, the practitioner could ask, “How have you managed to outsmart The Delay Monster even for a few minutes this week?” This personification separates procrastination from the client’s core identity, allowing them to reclaim agency and co-author preferred stories of action and self-worth. Arguably, this technique is most valuable when integrated thoughtfully with other modalities, as over-reliance on narrative reframing alone may overlook deeper emotional roots (Payne, 2006).
The Importance of Exception Questions in Brief Therapy
Exception questions form a vital component of SFBT by directing attention to times when the problem was absent or less intense, thereby challenging the client’s perception of it as constant and overwhelming (de Shazer et al., 2007). Their importance lies in surfacing hidden competencies and resources that clients often overlook, which can be particularly useful for those with low self-esteem who tend to emphasise failures. These questions promote a collaborative stance and support the construction of solutions based on existing strengths rather than expert advice.
Three examples of exception questions a counsellor might pose include: “Can you tell me about a recent occasion when the feelings of low self-esteem were not quite as strong, even if only for a short while—what was happening differently then?”; “When was the last time you noticed procrastination backing off a little bit, and what small things did you do that made that possible?”; and “Think back to a moment this past month when you felt a bit more confident in yourself—what was going on, and how did you manage to hold onto that feeling?” These queries encourage detailed exploration of contextual factors, such as supportive environments or personal strategies, thereby facilitating transferable insights. Generally, repeated use of exceptions helps consolidate gains over sessions.
Conclusion
In summary, the miracle question, externalisation and exception finding offer structured yet client-centred tools for addressing low self-esteem and related issues in counselling. Each technique emphasises client expertise and incremental change, aligning with the brief therapy ethos of efficiency and empowerment. While these methods demonstrate clear applicability, their success hinges on cultural sensitivity and integration with broader assessment. As a student developing these skills, continued supervised practice will be essential to refine their use and evaluate outcomes effectively.
References
- de Shazer, S. (1988) Clues: Investigating Solutions in Brief Therapy. W.W. Norton & Company.
- de Shazer, S., Dolan, Y., Korman, H., Trepper, T., McCollum, E. and Berg, I.K. (2007) More Than Miracles: The State of the Art of Solution-Focused Brief Therapy. Haworth Press.
- O’Connell, B. (2012) Solution-Focused Therapy. 3rd edn. Sage.
- Payne, M. (2006) Narrative Therapy: An Introduction for Counsellors. 2nd edn. Sage.
- White, M. and Epston, D. (1990) Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends. W.W. Norton & Company.
